Letter from child to Santa:

Dear Santa,
My Daddy is very worried about Global Warming. Could you please fix it?
– Virginia

Response from Santa:

Dear Virginia,
Tell your daddy to go live in an arctic desert for a few centuries before he complains about global warming. I ain’t lettin’ go of my tropical paradise.
– Santa

Merry Christmas, everybody, and remember to use your family’s most high-mileage car while going to Grandma’s house – we gotta cool things down before them elves get the idea to start slacking off.

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