Letter from child to Santa:
Dear Santa,
My Daddy is very worried about Global Warming. Could you please fix it?
– Virginia
Response from Santa:
Dear Virginia,
Tell your daddy to go live in an arctic desert for a few centuries before he complains about global warming. I ain’t lettin’ go of my tropical paradise.
– Santa
Merry Christmas, everybody, and remember to use your family’s most high-mileage car while going to Grandma’s house – we gotta cool things down before them elves get the idea to start slacking off.